Horton's Happenings

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

New Beginnings!

     It is quite funny to me that no matter what age you may be you are never too old to experience new beginnings.  At the age of 18, I began college.  Then I turned 21 and married my very best friend!  My entire world changed at the age of 25, when I gave birth to our first child.  Over the next several years I gave birth to three more children which have opened my eyes to new beginnings and experiences every day.  Well, today I am 35 and I becoming a college student....AGAIN!  I tried my hand at graduate school right after finishing my B.A. but due to my work schedule and intense sickness with my first pregnancy it became overwhelming.  So, in my second semester (11 years ago) I had to withdraw.  If you know me....I HATE to quit!!  But, when I held my baby girl for the first time and looked into her beautiful blue eyes I knew I had made the right choice.  I wanted her to have my undivided attention.
     So, at the age of 35 and four kids later, I have decided to return to school and finish what I began in the year 2000.  I am working on my Masters in Professional Counseling with a dual licensure in Marriage and Family Therapy.  My classes will be all online courses.  Now with that being said let me just introduce you to my crazy thoughts right now.  I admit I am overcome at times with FEAR!  Yes, I admit it...I am scared out of my mind!!  I have not written a research paper in almost 12 years.  I haven't studied anything, except the Bible or leadership materials, within the last 12 years.  I haven't stayed up all night wracking my brain to figure something out....well, unless it was a bad dream a child had or trying to figure out how to help my child through a sickness....in 12 years.  So, yeah, this mommy is afraid!  My fears are, but not limited too:  not being able to spend as much time with my kids and family as I would like,  my husband having too much on his plate (with his full time job and then coming home and being mommy while I study), failure, not being able to keep up with my daily house chores, making "special" time for my husband, making time to just have fun, making time to run (I know that sounds selfish...but I have worked so hard to get to where I am in running), this is a big one...making sure I am having time with God, not being able to comprehend all the material, etc.  I could literally keep going on and on but literally I could sum it up in one word:  Failure!  That's it, I am afraid of failing on many levels.
     Do you ever reach a point when so much worry and stress hits you that you know you literally can't take any more?  Yeah, that's where I feel I am...but I know I am not!  At these times I run to God!  I know He wants to help me and take this for me.  So, I throw my hands up and say, "God, I can't take one more thing...Please help me deal with all of this accordingly.  Give me strength, patience, wisdom, and faith to get through this.  I love these very profound, but simple, words in Psalm 56:3-4, "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.  In God (I will praise His word).  In God I have put my trust; I will not fear.  What can flesh do to me?"  So, there ya go...my "New Beginning" is becoming a graduate student and ultimately a Professional Counselor.  You may not hear from me as much...I will have to study a lot!  But I ask that you PLEASE pray for me to do well and be the best counselor I can, making sure I glorify God in all things!  Pray for my husband as he tackles more things while I am studying.  Pray that my kids don't feel "mommy neglected".  Pray that this all will come together beautifully and that I will look back one day and smile at these few years.  I love you friends and family!!  You are the best!!!